I've been thinking about something and getting pissed off about it.
Whenever someone has dramatic weight loss, they talk about changing the way they think about food.
Food is for nutrition.
I agree. But it also tastes wonderful. It's pleasurable to eat and feel full. So it's very counter-intuitive to deny it as a celebratory outlet. Filling up on delicious food is an easy go-to reward, because it feels good. It's why I'll always choose cheesecake over, say, scrubbing up my baseboards. Neither baseboards, nor baseboard cleaner taste very good.
I don't think that's something I can turn off completely in my head, to seek out nutrition over yumminess. I can be really good about it, for a really long time, but there's always a binge period. And I'm not denying myself when I'm being good. I let myself have reasonable portions of tasty things. But something in me ultimately wants to overdo it.
Maybe I'm just a filthy hedonist.