Celebrate

Several times on Oprah's farewell season she referenced an episode she did with Phil McGraw {I have to try really hard not to roll my eyes here} where a woman was devastated by the murder of her 18yo daughter 10 years prior. She confessed to them that she had planned to take her life after her appearance on the show. Dr. Phil said something after that that really resonated with me, and of course the lady's reaction obviously stuck with Oprah since she brings it up often.
Why do you choose to belabor the day that she died, instead of celebrating the wonderful 18yrs that she lived?
Four years ago today my little brother drowned where the American and Sacramento rivers meet. Just before he was supposed to come out to Vegas and meet his baby niece for the first time. And days like today, it's very easy for me to get caught up in the feelings of that day and to dwell on my morbid imaginations of what his last moments were like. I can cry myself into a panic attack.
I'd like to think that I'm past that though. That I've cried enough and I can miss him with only happy memories rather than pain. I'm trying.